How to support your gay friend
How Do I Help My Gay Friend?
by D’Ann Davis
“How do I help my gay friend?” This is a question we perceive constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world. Twenty years ago few Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles. Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as homosexual or deals with a measure of same gender attractions. Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of being where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this ask is of utmost importance in light of the change of our identity and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly discuss about their issues. So how does one support a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?
The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question. “Does your friend know Jesus?” This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to help a friend deal with her sexual attractions. This is because there are two different ro
If someone close to you comes out as queer woman, gay, bisexual or gender nonconforming, you may be unsure about how you perceive about it or how to respond.
It is essential to let the person know that you still care about them, even if you don&#;t get it all straight away.
Regardless of your initial thoughts or feelings, remember that just because someone identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual person or transgender, for the most part it doesn&#;t change who they are or were and doesn&#;t make them any less of a friend or family member.
What is key is that you attempt your best to help them, even if you&#;re unsure how you experience right now, and that you are willing to try and learn more about what their sexuality or gender identity means to them.
My friend/family member has come out as lesbian, gay or bisexual
Think about how you felt about them before they told you &#; demand yourself why this would change just because they are attracted to people of the same gender or are attracted to more than one gender. Who they are attracted to doesn&#;t change who they are as a person.
It&#;s OK to enable the person know that it might take you time to get used to the idea, but that you will undertake your best
How Should Christians Respond to Gay Friends or Family Members?
Caleb Kaltenbach (M.A. ’07) is an alumnus of Biola’s Talbot School of Theology, lead pastor of a large church in Simi Valley, Calif., and a married father of two. He’s also an emerging voice in the discussion of how Christians should engage the LGBT community. That’s because Kaltenbach has an insider perspective, having been raised by a dad and mom who divorced and independently came out of the closet as a homosexual man and a female homosexual. Raised in the midst of LGBT parties and pride parades, Kaltenbach became a Christian and a pastor as a fresh adult. Today, he manages the tension of holding to the traditional biblical teaching on sexuality while loving his gay parents.
Kaltenbach’s unique story is detailed in his new novel Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction and landed him on the front page of the New York Times in June. Biola Magazine reached out to him to talk about his publication and his perspective on how Christians can finer navigate the complexities of this issue with authenticity and grace.
In your novel you say that it’s time for Christians to own the iss Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be honest and risk losing you as a partner. It can be complex to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow. .If Someone Comes Out to You