Ideal gay man
The 5 best things about being a gay man
Growing up, I spent so much time and force trying to hide who I was because I bought into mainstream society’s beliefs about what it means to be gay.
I saw myself as less than, weak, disgusting, defective, and simply not superb enough. I constantly measured myself up against unbent men, and my internal belief system told me I wasn’t adequate.
After many years of working through my own shame around being gay and processing my own internalized homophobia, I began to observe the light within me. People always told me I had this glow, but I didn’t grant it to shine because shame told me to dim it.
A lot of this work came down to me accepting myself for exactly who I am, and an aspect of that was organism a gay man.
I now see being gay as a beautiful gift I have been given. The gift of being diverse and finding strength in that difference. The offering of being able to pull me out of many years of suffering and redeem myself as someone who I am proud of today.
Being homosexual to me is a small part of who I am. It makes up an aspect of my self-concept, and in certain environments, it may play a larger role, but it’s just one part of who I am.
However,
What Gay and Bi Men Really Want
Are physical and sexual attraction the most appealing qualities in a partner? Or are unseen qualities like good manners and reliability the most attractive?
Following on from his research into what direct women want and what straight men want, D&M Research’s managing director Derek Jones has taken the next logical step with his latest study into what gay and bi(sexual) men want.
In order to dig deeper and illustrate out a true list of turn-ons and turn-offs for gay and bi men, Derek once again used of the Im-Ex Polygraph method. He originally devised this method of analysis to distinguish what people say they want from brands, products or services from what they really want by comparing stated versus derived measures of importance.
Qualities the lgbtq+ and bi men said they desired in a partner (‘stated’) were compared to the qualities display in example celebrities they nominated as attractive (‘implied’). The same comparison was made between stated and implied negative qualities, to determine what attributes are really the biggest turn-offs.
What gay and bi men say they want
Just favor straight women and linear men, &#;we enjoy entity
Gay men currently receive small research attention when it comes to health issues such as eating disorders and other body image concerns. Yet expectations are high for gay men, as the western utopian masculine body is muscular and fat free.
Evidence also indicates that there are unique concerns for LGBTQ people relating to nutrition and obesity, and that tailored programs can improve overall health outcomes for gay men.
Our research shows that social demands placed upon lgbtq+ men to eat healthily and achieve a ideal body are linked to anxiety and depression and have serious mental health consequences. And that health researchers and practitioners necessitate to challenge beauty standards among diverse groups of men through conversations, connections and support.
In our revise, carried out at Dalhousie University, gay men explored how culture influences the way they think about food and their bodies through a process called Photovoice — an arts-based research methodology in which participants submit their control photographs.
Nine self-identified lgbtq+ men photographed various aspects of their lives relating to their experiences with food, body image and health. Guided by their phot
Many gay men grew up feeling ashamed of not conforming to cultural expectations about “real boys” or “real men.” Especially during middle and high college, they may have been bullied or publicly humiliated because of their difference—made to feel like outsiders and not “one of the boys.” They may have found it easier relating to women than men, though they didn’t fully belong to the girl group, either.
Every homosexual man I’ve seen in my practice over the years has had a conflicted, troubled relationship with his own masculinity, often shaping his behavior in destructive ways. Writing for Vice, Jeff Leavell captures the dynamic nicely: “Queer people, especially gay men, are known for dealing with a slew of self-doubts and anxieties in noxious ways. Gay men are liable to touch incredibly insecure over their masculinity, a kind of internalized homophobia that leads them to idolize 'masc 4 masc', 'gaybros' and [to] shame and oppress femme men.”
Here we observe one of the most common defenses against shame: getting rid of it by offloading or projecting it onto somebody else; in this case, one of those “femme men.” In effect, “masc” men who humiliate “femmes” redo the shame trauma of their
.